Day fourty....something?
Man, I promised I would be more diligent with this blog and it looks like the best I am managing is just once a week... sigh...
It looks like I am slated to go back to the office early or mid June. I won't like waking up at 5am but what can you do... This is the career I have chosen for now... and yes, it is 100% a choice. It's been a struggle to motivate myself to be productive everyday. I vascillate between wanting to be more active so I don't sit on my butt all day to having random spurts of activity and doing random chores around the house.
I realize this is pattern I've gotten myself into and it is very hard to break myself from it. This is why there really aren't that many successful people in this world. They have found something that preoccupies their mind and makes them obssessive to get it right. They can't NOT do that something. And then I get to thinking... what is my unique capability? No doubt I like to be creative in some sort of way but I've always felt incredibly guilty for being artistic. I see it as a character flaw, something that is shameful to admit in this modern world of optimization, spreadsheets, and productivity.
I type as a ennegram 4 and a ISFP, so I couldn't have had a worse combination for managing projects. It's a modern curse. The inability to concentrate on anything for a long timeframe. It's crippling and causes me a lot of anxiety. If I sit an watch Netflix all day I feel as if I've accomplished nothing. I know there should be periods of rest, but it's not something I feel proud of.
It looks like I am slated to go back to the office early or mid June. I won't like waking up at 5am but what can you do... This is the career I have chosen for now... and yes, it is 100% a choice. It's been a struggle to motivate myself to be productive everyday. I vascillate between wanting to be more active so I don't sit on my butt all day to having random spurts of activity and doing random chores around the house.
I realize this is pattern I've gotten myself into and it is very hard to break myself from it. This is why there really aren't that many successful people in this world. They have found something that preoccupies their mind and makes them obssessive to get it right. They can't NOT do that something. And then I get to thinking... what is my unique capability? No doubt I like to be creative in some sort of way but I've always felt incredibly guilty for being artistic. I see it as a character flaw, something that is shameful to admit in this modern world of optimization, spreadsheets, and productivity.
I type as a ennegram 4 and a ISFP, so I couldn't have had a worse combination for managing projects. It's a modern curse. The inability to concentrate on anything for a long timeframe. It's crippling and causes me a lot of anxiety. If I sit an watch Netflix all day I feel as if I've accomplished nothing. I know there should be periods of rest, but it's not something I feel proud of.
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